


No rain, no flowers

by Littlelaion



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Harsh Language, I don't know how to write without cursing lol, I'm Bad At Summaries, Idiots in Love, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Season 8, Slow Burn, Strong Female Characters, angsty beginning, fem!reader - Freeform, post meave, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:47:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27655009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Littlelaion/pseuds/Littlelaion
Summary: "Fuck off, Spencer. You may be grieving, but you don’t have to be an asshole about it"Hayley considers Spencer his best friend, but after Maeve dies, not even she is allowed to help the boy with his grief.  After a big fight, Spencer realizes he doesn't want to lose his best friend. Will he be able to get her back, or will it be too little too late?
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Original Female Character(s), Spencer Reid/Reader, Spencer Reid/You
Comments: 29
Kudos: 97





	1. The storm

**Author's Note:**

> (Y/N = Hayley. I feel like using Y/N slows the reading experience, so I'm using random names, but if you want to use yours in your beautiful brain, go ahead <3 )

"Spencer, are you there?" I say, knocking on the door of his apartment for what feels like the umpteenth time. "Open the door, please" Nothing. I know he’s inside, I can see light from under the door.

"Spencer Reid, open the door, I just want to know you’re okay". Still nothing. "Well, I’m not leaving until you open this door. I’ll ask Hotch for time off if I have to, but I’m not leaving you alone." I declare, feeling exhaustion wash over me. We’ve been at it like that for the past week. I slide down his door and sit resting my back on it. Garcia has been leaving all of these care baskets and edible arrangements for him, and he hasn’t even opened the door to grab them. I grab some cookies and munch on them, just to have something to do.

Maeve’s murder happened almost three weeks ago, and nobody has seen or heard from Spencer in all this time. I don’t even know if he has been eating, drinking, if he has died… and I’m his best friend. I have not heard his voice at all, just his voicemail message. He hasn’t even picking up Garcia’s phone calls, and she’s been borderline stalker.

After a while, I must have dozed off, because the door opening almost tumbles me backward. I stand up as quickly as I can, turning around to watch as Spencer picks up Penelope’s baskets a couple at a time and starts to bring them inside his apartment. He doesn’t acknowledge my presence, even though he almost stepped on me.

"Do you need help?" I offer. He still ignores me. I grab the last basket without asking, and start to bring it inside, when Spencer almost slams the door on my face.

"Hey! Careful!" I complain, stopping the door with my hand. Spencer mumbles something, but still refuses to meet my eyes. "Excuse me, what did you say?"

"I said you can’t come inside" he says more clearly now. He tries to close the door all the way, but I wedge my foot between the door and the frame. I follow his gaze and try to make him look at me.

"Spence, why do you say that? I’m your best friend, I’ve been here loads of times. Please, let me in." I plead. He finally looks at me, but when he does, I see his bloodshot eyes, his unruly hair, unrulier than ever, and his face is a hard mask. _My_ Spencer, the Spencer I know anyway, is nowhere to be found.

"Why? So you can take advantage of me?" He spits, looking me up and down. My mouth falls to the floor.

"What do you mean by that? You’re my friend and you’re hurting, I just want to be there for you" I say, indignantly.

" _Be there for me?_ You just want to get in and take advantage of my vulnerable state, so I will fall in love with you."

"Where the fuck does this come from, Spencer? Do you think so little of me? Do you even know me?" _How could he think I would do something like this? What happened to Spencer Reid?_

"Don’t you think I don’t know, Hayley? Don’t you think I don’t see the way you look at me? I’m a profiler too, for Tesla’s sake, I can read your body language better than a children’s book. I know you have romantic feelings for me!"

I’m left stunned, speechless. I mean, he’s not wrong, I’ve had feelings for him pretty much since we became friends, that fateful night two years ago, when Penelope invited me and Reid to a Doctor Who marathon at her place. I had just joined the BAU a few months earlier and was kind of struggling to fit in, but Garcia noticed, so she took me under her wing and helped me integrate. Then Spencer and I found out we had lots of shared interests outside the job, so we started to hang out together more and more. Developing feelings for him was kind of inevitable, really.

However, I had never made any advances on Spencer, because I knew he is way too shy for this kind of thing and, frankly, I never thought he would return my feelings. Besides, I never wanted to lose our friendship. Then, Maeve came into his life, and there were even fewer chances of him having feelings for me, of course. I’ve never lied to Spencer though, and I’m not about to do it now.

"You’re a profiler, alright. Yes, you caught me, I have romantic feelings for you!" I say, raising my arms in defeat. "But you will always be my friend, Spence. First and foremost, my _friend_. Which is why I could have tried to ask you out way before there were any Maeves in your life, but I chose to shove my feelings down my throat every day, just so I could be there for you as a friend. _Which is wh_ y, even though my heart was breaking at the sight of you so in love with her, I cried at home but left my feelings there, locked up, so I could continue to be your best friend. So don’t you dare call me an opportunist, Spencer Reid. Don’t you _fucking_ dare" I let out all of this rant almost in one breath, but my blood is still boiling under my skin. Tears are about to fall down my face, so I look up at the ceiling to keep the in my eyes, but it doesn’t help much. I decide to glance at Spencer, but he is looking at me with blank eyes, not an emotion showing in his face.

"What?" I spit.

"Nothing, I’m deciding whether I believe you or not" He says, his voice steady and cold as ice.

"Well, if you have to even consider whether it’s true or not, you clearly know nothing about me"

"Then you might not be my best friend, after all" He states.

"Fuck off, Spencer. You may be grieving, but you don’t have to be an asshole about it" It was my turn to sneer at him. I don’t know who this person is, but it clearly is not my friend.

"Whatever you say." He says, before he slams the door in my face.

"Fuck you, Spencer!" I shout, as a sob escapes from my throat. I turn around to run down the stairs, but I collapse into two people.

"Sorry, I didn’t mean to crash into you" I say, rubbing my eyes to see the faces I just crashed into. When I look up, I see two blonde women: Penelope Garcia and Jennifer Jareau. _Oh great, just what I needed._

"Hayley, what happened? Why are you crying?" JJ says, eyes full of concern.

"How much did you hear?" I say, between sobs.

"Well, enough. Oh, honey, come here" Garcia says, cautiously. She hugs me while I cry, and when my sobs calm down, they walk with me to my car. Apparently we had a case in San Francisco, and they were going to check in on Reid before leaving. While Garcia drives JJ and I to the jet on my car, I tell them what happened. When I’m done, they look at each other and sigh.

"Was that the first fight you’ve ever had with Spencer, Hayley?" Garcia says.

I quickly nod. "The first serious one, anyway. We’ve argued and disagreed, but never more than that" I say. "Why?"

"Because Spencer is incredibly good at his job, Hays, you know that, so he knows where to hit so it’ll hurt you the most. He did the same to me when I kept Prentiss’ non-death from him, remember?" JJ says.

Of course I do, we were all there for the JJ-Reid smackdown after Prentiss got back from Paris. I had also mourned Emily’s death, and was also mad at JJ and Hotch, but Spencer took it way too aggressively with her. I had to tell him off for that.

I let out a breath, trying to calm myself before we get to the jet and people have a chance to ask too many questions. "It’ll calm down eventually, and he will be our Spencer again in no time. He will realize what he said, and he’ll apologize, you’ll see." Garcia says.

"I’m not so sure" We’re almost at the tarmac now. "Please, don’t tell any of this to the others. I don’t want to bring in any more drama than there needs to be" I ask them before I get off the car. JJ nods, but Penelope doesn’t seem too happy about it.

"You know Morgan is going to ask you or me about it, right?" She says, uncertain. I take a deep breath.

"You can tell him to ask me, then."


	2. The Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek Morgan to the rescue. That's it, that's the summary.

- **You-**

As soon as I got on the plane and locked eyes with Morgan, he looked at me a bit weird. I can't blame them, however. I did step on the cabin wearing Garcia’s massive sunglasses to avoid showing my puffy eyes, but if he wanted to make any comment about it, decided not to once he saw JJ’s face. So thank goodness for that. The rest of the flight was business as usual.

The San Francisco case seemed to stretch on forever, and I didn’t know how much longer I could keep everyone’s questions at bay. Derek had been looking at me like I was going to break at any moment. I know he worries, but Reid is like his brother, I can’t drag him under the bus like that. So whenever he seemed like he wanted to ask anything, I left the room with any excuse.

Even if I don't want to, I know, on my mind, that Spencer didn’t mean what he said, that he does like being my friend and that it was only grief speaking (and shouting). But my heart seems to want to break anyway, and I’ve found it difficult to focus on the case because of it. I’ve not been sleeping well, and my puffy eyes never seem to go away. I’m not hungry, and can’t seem to put my mind on anything for longer than 10 minutes at a time. We're still at the station and although my mind is still somewhere else, I think at some point we were discussing why the unsub would be separating the red cells from the plasma to paint with it, and what kind of equipment he would need to do it.

"It’s a habit" a voice suddenly said from behind us.

Everyone dropped what they were doing to turn around, only to find Reid standing there, looking disheveled, but okay. JJ almost jumped into his arms, and then Hotch said:

"I didn’t expect you back so soon. Are you sure you’re up for this?"

"No, but I think I figured something out" Spencer mumbled.

He was so quiet, so soft with everyone. Why couldn’t he be like that with his best friend? I couldn’t stand to look at him, the things he shouted at me a couple days ago still stung too much. All of a sudden I felt like I didn’t belong, and a part of me felt like I needed to get out of the way... Here he was, with his family who had known him for way longer than I did, and here I was calling myself his best friend? I had to get out of there.

—————————————

**-Spencer-**

I kept searching for Hayley’s eyes, even while everyone else was gathering to hug me. I know what I said was not fair to her, she was there out of her own kindness and love for me, romantic or otherwise. I shouldn’t have yelled at her or been so stubborn. I really need to apologise, so I disentangle myself from JJ’s hug, but just then I notice that Hayley is running towards the door.

"No, Hayley, wait!" I yell, but it’s too late. I try to run toward the door, but Morgan stops me.

"Leave her be, kid. Look, I don’t know what happened, but she clearly doesn’t want to see you" He says, protectively. He searches my eyes for an explanation, but I don’t give him one. If Hayley hasn’t told them, I’m not about to.

"I know she doesn’t want to see me, but someone has to go with her. She hates crying alone, Derek, please." I plead. I’ve been an asshole, but she doesn’t deserve it.

"Okay, I’ll go get her. Do you know where she could have gone? The hotel maybe?" He suggests.

"No, it’s 5 miles away, and she won’t have taken the car if she’s too anxious" I correct. _What would be a safe place, if I were Hayley?_ And then it comes to me and meet Morgan’s eyes before turning them to the SFPD detective. "Is there a library or bookshop within walking distance? She always tries to find a library near the police station whenever we travel for a case. I’m positive she will be there" I explain to Morgan.

"Hm, _City Lights_ is less than two blocks east of here. It’s big, but it’s a bookshop, not a library."

"I’ll go check, you stay here in case she comes back. Thanks, detective." Morgan says, halfway out the door.

——————————————-

**-You-**

Albert Einstein used to say that «the only thing that you absolutely have to know, is the location of the library». I have taken this with me from the day I heard my mum say it out loud. Wherever I go, I look for libraries and bookshops, they feel like an energy source to me, a place where I feel grounded. They are usually calm and quiet, which is what I need right now.

By the time I walk into _City Lights_ bookshop, my tears are fully running down my face. I see that the foreign languages section is downstairs, so I run down there and find a corner to sit and hide.I take my iPod and headphones out of my inside pocket and put the music on as loud as I can. I don’t want to hear my own thoughts, I just want to shut my mind off for a few minutes, and I need the drums to quiet my heartbeats. I want the Earth to swallow me whole. He shouldn’t be here. He should be at home, mourning the death of his girlfriend. I should be able to wallow in peace, instead of being under the spotlight because of how tight this unit is. _I hate profilers._

I’m so focused on my music that I don’t notice someone approaching me until I see his shoes in front of me. I follow the shoes to a muscular chest, arms crossed, and Derek Morgan’s head at the end. I take my headphones out just as he crouches down to be at my level.

"Hey, Morgan" I say, weakly.

"Hey, yourself. What brings you here on this fine, fine day?"

"Oh, you know, the usual. Murder, heartbreak… Japanese dictionaries." I retort, reaching for the first book I can find.

"Okay, kid, stop the pity party. Will you please tell me why you’ve been acting like you’re low on battery and you took off as soon as you saw Reid come in?" He says, brows knitted.I shake my head and try to stand up, but he stops me. "Hey, we’re not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong. And don’t try to lie to me, you have a tell"

"I have a tell?" I sit up. I don’t have a tell, I’m a great liar. That’s what’s gotten me far in this life.

"You always straighten your back and correct your posture when you lie. Now, quit stalling and tell me what happened" _Damn profilers._ I sigh, but decide to tell him the whole scene from a couple of days ago, which brings on a fresh wave of tears to my eyes. Morgan moves so he can sit next to me on the floor and wraps his arm around my shoulders, and squeezes to let me cry there for as long as I need.

"Hayley, you are probably one of the people who know Reid the best. You know that he doesn’t mean that, right?"

"Yeah, D, but he knows I have feelings for him. That changes everything." I say, resting my head on his shoulder.

"You can overcome this, I know you can. He deeply cares about you. Honestly, before I knew about Maeve, I thought he had a crush on you" He shrugs. After we sit like that for a while, he goes "Come on, mama, let’s get you something to eat and let’s get back to the station. I can talk to Reid if you don’t want to talk to him _yet_ , but you two will have to talk eventually". He then stands up and offers me a hand to pull me up. I take it, and don’t let him go until we make it to the station.

True to his word, as soon as we got back to headquarters, Derek pulled Reid aside and I’m guessing he told him not to talk to me, because he really tried to leave me alone for the rest of the day. I did catch him watching me a few times, though, but by then the case was wrapped, and we were on our way back home on the jet. While everyone got on with their business, I tried to stay away from the team and just put my headphones on and ignore the world.

After a while, however, I noticed someone sat in front of me and looked up to find JJ. I gave her a small smile.

"So, Spencer asked us to go to his house tomorrow morning, to help him with some last minute… renovations he’s done to his place. He asked me to ask you if you’d like to go as well" she said, carefully.

"I don’t know, I don’t think I can make it." I said, shrugging. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that Spencer was listening, and when I said no, he deflated. So did JJ.

"Hays, you’ll have to talk to him eventually." She sighed. I mimicked her.

"I know, Derek told me the same. It just doesn’t have to be tomorrow." I turned to look out the window, considering the conversation finished. JJ waited a bit, hoping I would elaborate, but eventually left me alone.


	3. The Rainbow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every storm must end and then the sun shines and, sometimes, there's a rainbow. I think that's why my angsty chapters are much shorter than the fluffy ones, haha. More fluff to come!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate writing angst, even though sometimes it's necessary.

The next day, after a night of tossing and turning, I woke up to a text from Garcia.

📲 _we’re on our way to the doctor’s office (aka Reid’s house, in case you didn’t get the reference)_

Instead of answering, however, I got up, made myself some breakfast and just wandered around the house. I busied myself cleaning and tidying up, while considering whether to go to Spencer’s or not. Thinking about him still hurt, but I really missed my friend, and I could tell he wanted to apologize. _Maybe I should just be the bigger person and hand him a peace offering?_

A couple of hours later, a new text from Garcia helped me make up my mind.

📲 _Hey, we’re leaving Spencer’s in a bit_.

After showering and getting ready in a hurry, I took the car to go to Spencer’s apartment. By the time I got there, though, all my determination is gone. Suddenly I find myself hesitating to walk up the stairs, takeout bags dangling in my hand. Just when I’m about to leave through the same door I had just come in, I hear a door opening and some voices that seem to come from Spencer’s floor. I shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but I can’t help it.

"Thank you for coming guys, I couldn’t have done this without you" Spencer admits.

"It’s nothing, Spence, that’s what family is for" JJ answers.

"Have you heard anything from Hayley?" Spencer stammers.

"I sent her a couple messages this morning to tell her we were coming, but she hasn’t answered" Garcia replies.

"Kid, she was probably too tired to wake up. This fight you had has been hard on her. She barely slept or ate during this last case" Morgan points out.

"I know. God, I’m such an idiot. I just hope she understands when I tell her I didn’t mean it." Spencer mumbles.

"Did Spencer 'I-have-an-IQ-of-187' Reid just say he’s an idiot, or am I hearing things?" I say out loud, as I appear from the stairs. I smile and wave shyly at everyone, and Spencer looks relieved to see me, which makes his face look softer. Since we argued, almost a week ago already, I haven’t really looked at him properly. He looks so much more like him. Granted, his eyes still look mostly sad, but that’s what happens when you grieve, right?

"It seems that’s our cue to leave. Morgan, JJ, fancy getting some brunch before heading home?" Garcia chimes, grabbing the arms of the other two. "See you on Monday, Syd and Nancy!" She shouts when they’re almost out of the building. I reach Spencer’s door slowly, cautiously.

"Uhm, so… I brought lunch? I don’t know if you’ve eaten anything, but I thought you could use a little pick-me-up, so I went by—"

"You went by Colada’s?" Spencer says, raising his eyebrows in surprise. I nod. "You didn’t have to! Do I smell…?"

"The Cubanito special, with a side of curly fries?. What kind of friend would I be if not?" I chuckle. And then the smile is wiped away from my face when I realize what I just said. Spencer notices too, because he looks down, defeated. He grabs the back of his neck and rubs his eyes in frustration.

"Hayley, I owe you an apology. Please come inside so I can explain?" He pleads, opening the door to let me in. I hesitate for a second, but eventually give in. We sit on his couch and quietly eat through lunch. He occasionally steals one of my curly fries, and I try to take a sip of his drink, just to spite him a bit… but he bats my hand away, imploring how many germs I’d be leaving in the straw. It almost feels like a normal Sunday, except for the enormous elephant in the room.

"I think we should address the elephant in the room" Spencer says, like reading my mind.

"Right" I gulp.

"I’m, Hayley, I’m incredibly sorry for the things I said to you the other day. I was hurting, still am, but, you just wanted to help and I took all my anger out on you. And you didn’t deserve that." He stutters, apologetic.

"Spencer—"

"No, wait, let me finish. I also want to make something clear: I didn’t mean any of it. You _are_ my best friend, and I don’t want to lose you. I know you’re not after me only because of my irresistible good looks and tim-burtonesque complexion." He says, with a shyly amused voice.

"Well, you know how much I love Tim Burton, and I do find you good-looking" I go, not really looking at him.

"You do?" He quips, slight blush in his cheeks.

"Of course I do. Derek doesn’t call you 'pretty boy' for no reason, you know?" I utter, and then I sit sideways on the couch to look at him properly.

"Listen, Spence, this past few weeks when you weren’t returning anyone’s calls, and I couldn’t talk to you or see you, I missed you like crazy. I don’t want to lose that. However, your profiling my feelings only to hurt me? Don’t you ever do that again" I take a big breath, bracing myself for what I’m about to say next.

"Look, I don’t want to live without you, but that doesn’t mean I can’t. Don’t make me prove it." I finish, even as my voice breaks at the end of the sentence, and I feel my eyes welling up.

"I won’t, I promise. I don’t want to lose you either. Please, don’t cry, or I’ll cry." He chokes, reaching for both my hands. We look into each other’s eyes, and I notice that I had started crying by now, and his eyes are teary also. He wipes my tears with one of his long fingers, and leaves his hand on my cheek, his eyes still bearing into mine.

"Can I hug you?" He hesitates. I quickly nod and scoot closer to him, so he can wrap his arms around my back and I can return the hug.

"God, I missed you" I sigh into the crook of his neck.

"Please never stop talking to me again" He says against mine.


	4. The New Normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer doesn't know when he is sounds like he is flirting and when he doesn't. And he definitely doesn't know what that does to you.

**[A couple of months later ]**

"No, Spencer I’m not coming. You just want to torture me"

"Come on, Hayley! It’s just a haunted house attraction. Please? For me?" Spencer is saying this while almost kneeling in front of me, begging me to go with him. He has been insisting I go with him to a haunted house attraction they’ve put up a couple miles outside of DC, and hasn’t stopped trying to convince me all week. Although I love Halloween —not as much as Reid, of course— I hate scary movies, and scary rides. I can’t help it, I just do.

"No! Reid, you know how I feel about scary or creepy things! They give me nightmares!" I whisper-shout.

"Hayley Stevens, you catch serial killers for a living. You look them in the eye and see horrific things every day. How can you be so scared of haunted house rides?" His eyebrows shoot up to his hairline in surprise.

"Well, for starters, they’re super dark. You know I don’t do well in the dark. And then, I always end up left behind and on my own. You guys go without me, because I’m not going" I cross my arms and pout like I'm a five-year-old girl throwing a tantrum. 

"Oh, come on, Stevens! Do it for Pretty Ricky! Besides, you won’t be the only scaredy-cat. Garcia is also coming" Morgan chimes.

"Well, Garcia has your arm to hang onto. You’re her knight in shining armor" I say, pursing my lips.

"Well, I may not be a knight like Morgan, but, but you’ve got m-me." Spencer shrugs, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Excuse me?" I quip, tilting my head.

"I said, you can hang on to my arm, if you want. I promise I won’t leave you behind" He says, picking on something on his sleeve.

"You’d do that?" I ask, my eyes wide.

"Yeah, of course. For you." He shrugs "Besides, afterward we can go have some hot dogs and junk food at the pumpkin patch, to get your mind off things" He adds a smile at the end to top it off. I'm still not convinced though, so I just squint at him.

"Will there be wine?" Penelope says from the batcave.

"Don’t worry, baby girl, if there isn’t, we’ll find some for you!" Morgan belts so she can hear him. We hear in return something like "My Hero!", and we all smile at Garcia’s addiction to wine, and to Derek Morgan. I look over at Reid again, and he almost looks bashful. It’s adorable, really.

Things have more or less gone back to normal by now. He’s really been trying to hang out with me more these past few weeks. It was difficult to get our dynamic back, and it was even more difficult for me to look at him without seeing the memory of his face as he sneered at me and yelled. At some point we made a silent agreement to move past the argument and never talk about my romantic feelings for him. I haven’t stopped feeling them, but something in me knows that I never will.

I’ve even gone on a couple of dates since, but no one seems to stick. Every time I’m at dinner with one of those people, I just find myself thinking of the young doctor. From the way he takes his coffee, to how he would rant at the inconsistencies of the movie we’re watching, if he were there. I just can’t seem to shake Spencer off of my heart.

Which is why I take a deep breath and, as I feel my heart crack a little, I smile and say "Okay, so when are we going?"

The sight of his face breaking into a smile and him twirling around on his chair in celebration is worth every heartbreak.

"We’re going today!" He yells, and everyone in the bullpen turns around to look at him.

"Today? But I’m not ready!" I panic.

"You don’t need anything to go to a pumpkin patch, Stevens" Morgan smirks, rising one eyebrow at me.

"Well, I don’t want to go on my work clothes, for one. But also I kinda hoped to have some time to prepare mentally for it" I insist.

"Well, of course we’ll get changed before we go, the rides don’t open until 6pm, and we only need to finish this paperwork, then we can go. You’ll have plenty of time to change. To prepare mentally however, not so much" Reid concludes, with half a smile.

The three of us hurry up finishing the paperwork, so we can get the hell of Quantico before Hotch can find another excuse to keep us here any longer. After we’re done, we go get Garcia and head for the parking lot. I carpool with Garcia and Morgan while Reid takes the subway back to his house. We’ve decided that Morgan is going to drive us to the patch, so we’ll be carpooling there also.

As soon as they drop me in front of my apartment building, I run home and start panicking again about this whole thing. I mean, if you look at it from the outside, this screams of double date. But I can’t allow myself to think like that, I don’t want Spencer thinking that I’m hoping for something to happen.

In the end I just put on a pair of black jeans, ripped at the knees, my Doc Martens and a jumper that Spencer got for me a couple of Halloweens ago. It’s a striped jumper in the same fashion as Freddy Krueger’s, and it looks ginormous on me. I love to wear it, especially every year on Halloween, and it’s kind of become our little tradition. Spencer even has a knitted hat in the same colors that I made for him the year after he got me the jumper. _I’m pathetic, I know._

After checking myself in the mirror for what feels like the twentieth time, I decide I need to step outside, or I won’t go at all. While I wait for Derek’s car outside the building, I sit in a bench and grab my book from my bag. This week I’m reading _And then there were none_ , by Agatha Christie. It’s very short, but packed with good stuff. There’s something about reading crime or mystery novels when you work in the crime-solving Industry. It’s like it gives my mind a fresh supply of ideas of how the perfect crime is not so perfect and of why unsubs do what they do. Reid usually teases me because of it, saying how he doesn’t understand that even after 14-hour days solving crime, I still want to read more about it.

The honk of Derek’s car pulls me out of my reverie and brings back the nerves from before. Luckily Spencer is riding shotgun so it’s Penelope and me in the back.

"Ready for the night of your life, my friends?" Spencer beames as soon as I have my seatbelt on.

"You mean, if I’m ready to have nightmares for the next week straight? No, I’m not ready" I snap, but without much bite.

"Oh, come on! Don’t kill the mood like that! I’ll stay over if it makes you feel any better" He answers, like it’s nothing. Like he doesn't know what it does to me when he says things like that.

"Careful with what you say, Reid, I might end up taking you up on that offer" I flirt, looking at him through the rearview mirror. When he meets my eyes, however, I get cold feet and look out the window, trying to hide the blush that creeps up my neck with my hair.

"It’d be my honour to slay any monsters for you, my lady!" He says, with a terrible British accent.

"M’lord, the only thing you’re slaying is the British accent" Garcia cuts, and we all laugh, even Reid.

"I swear, sometimes I feel like I'm hanging out with a bunch of 10 year-olds!" Morgan sighs, shaking his head as he puts the car in reverse and starts driving towards the pumpkin patch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was going to be a massive chapter with the whole Halloween evening, but I decided to divide it, that's why this chapter is so short, sorry! See you Sunday!


	5. The Courting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All Hallow's Eve shenanigans!

By the time we arrive at the front of the cue to enter the haunted mansion it’s completely dark outside and I’m growing more and more nervous by the minute. I’m bouncing on my tiptoes, changing the weight from one to the other, and Spencer picks up on that.

"Hays, calm down. You have self-defense training and I’ll be there to protect you" He says, biting a laugh. I poke him on the ribs for laughing at me, but then link my arm with his just as the guard checks our passes and motions us to move along and enter the mansion.

"Please, don’t let me go" I plead, looking up at his eyes.

"I would never" He says this mocking me, but I know he means it.

Just as I expected, the inside of the mansion is completely dark, except the occasional candles perched on the walls. The ceilings seem to stretch on forever and so do the corridors. It’s eerily quiet, although it could also be that my loud heartbeat is deafening. As we move along the corridor, the little noise I can still hear from the outside is staying behind, and I can only barely hear Spencer and Derek's voice as they chat animatedly about what monsters are expecting us further on. 

"Hays. Hayley" Spencer is calling my name in a whisper, I look in his direction but I only see a silhouette. "You okay? You’re kind of blocking the circulation into my arm"

"Oh, sorry" I breathe, and let go a bit of his arm. Instead of letting me rest it there, Spencer reaches for my hand. Instinctively I intertwine his fingers with mine.

"That way I won’t lose you" he whispers in my ear. "Did you know that in the United States there are more haunted houses than Target stores? In the whole country!" 

If he is whispering in my ear to distract me while we navigate the mansion, it’s working. My brain can only focus on the feeling of his breath in my neck. I don’t even know how I have attention left to keep my body moving, but somehow I am.

"Hey, guys, don’t you think this is too quiet to be haunted?" Morgan says from behind us, and Spencer stands straighter.

"I know, I’m not sure whether I should be worried or relieved" I say, trying to sound chill. I start to turn around to look at Morgan and Garcia, but I don’t see anyone.

"Morgan? Penelope?" I call, but no one calls back. I look over at Spencer but he only shrugs and shakes his head, wondering the same. I pull from his hand to make him stop. "What do we do?" Spencer squeezes my hand reassuringly and I squeeze back.

"We can ask someone to get us out, if you’re scared. I’ll understand" He whispers. I shake my head.

"No, I agreed to come, we have to finish now. What do we do about Morgan and Garcia?" I swallow my fears, and try to smile for Spencer.

"Okay, if you’re sure… There’s only one exit, so we’re bound to meet them again eventually, we can just move along" He suggests, calmly.

We start walking, following the signs that indicate the exit. We come across a couple of actors and doors that creak, but nothing too invasive. At some point however, we have to go up some stairs and, as soon as we reach the landing I feel someone pulling from Spencer, and I almost lose contact with him. Some sort of mummified butler is pulling from Spencer's right hand, trying to take him away.

"Hey! No! Don’t touch him! He’s mine! Don’t take him away!" I start screaming like a lunatic, while another two ghostly figures try to tear us apart. At some point I yank so hard on Spencer’s arm that they finally leave him. They let him go so abruptly, however, that the whiplash sends us against the nearest wall, him crashing into me.

"Ouch, Reid, you stepped on my foot!" I cry

"Sorry! But you almost broke my arm from pulling!"

"Well, they were taking you away!"

"They weren’t going to do that, don't worry" he reassures me. I feel his eyes on mine, despite how dark it is. He’s still pressed against me, and I feel all the buttons in his cardigan dig into my stomach. His hair is tickling my forehead and I can feel breath on my face.

"You don’t know that" I puff, as I try to untangle from him, but without letting go of his hand. He follows me without question. We only manage a few more steps before he breaks the silence again.

"So… if I heard correctly, you were telling those ghosts that I'm yours... what made you say that?" He says, wiggling his eyebrows, a smug on his face.

"I didn’t say that, like at all. You must have imagined it" I bite back, looking anywhere but at him. Yeah, like hell I'm ever admitting that. 

"Hayley… you’re talking to a guy with an eidetic memory. If I’ve heard it, I’ve memorised it." He continues, still smug. Is he... could he be flirting? Seriously not. 

"Then you didn’t hear it correctly" I deflect.

"What did I hear, then?" He just won't drop it. I can’t see it, but I feel a smile in his face, challenging me. Luckily, I don’t have to answer, because just at that moment someone pulls from my arm, trying to take me away from Spencer. He pulls from our linked hands as hard as he can. I see some fangs and a cape from what looks like a very sweaty vampire. I can smell his cheap deodorant mixed with the polyester of his costume and it's taking all my energy not to smell any more of that. 

"Hey, leave her alone! She’s mine! Don’t you dare touch her!" I look between Spencer and the smelly vampire as they keep pulling and pushing. Thankfully, the vampire gets tired pretty soon, and leaves me alone. As soon as I’m back next to Spencer, he breaks contact with me, only to wrap his arm around my shoulders and pull me tight against him. I wrap my hand around his waist in return, still scared but glad to have him with me. I don't know what's gotten into him to be so calm with all of this body contact... but I'm not about to complain. We continue a bit further ahead, without making a comment about this new development. Eventually, we come across a flight of stairs.

"Huh, so if I heard correctly... I’m yours, now, doctor?" I sing-song, biting a smile. We’re next to a window and some moonlight is coming through it, which shines on Spencer’s scrunched face. He knows full well I heard every single word he said a moment ago.

"Well, I promised I would protect you, didn't I?" He says, like nothing. As he pulls me down the stairs, however, I seem to catch a glimpse of a cheeky smile.

After what feels like an eternity, and a couple more jumps along the way, we seem to make it to the back of the house. It looks like we finally reached the end of the ride. Before we're free though, we need a bit more suffering, apparently, because as soon as I finish that thought, I hear a door slam from behind me and I see a silhouette running towards us.

"Spence, run!!!" I scream, pulling Spencer with me as we start running towards the corridor. We finally crash into the escape gate and suddenly we’re outside. I swear I’ve never been happier to breathe fresh air. Laughing like a maniac, I turn to Spencer and catch him watching me with a smile on his face. He approaches me and starts clapping slowly. 

"Well done, Stevens. You survived, I’m proud of you" He offers me his hand and I go for a high five, but then he catches it and holds it, linking his fingers through mine.

"Thank you, for protecting me back there" I say, making eye contact with him.

"Thank you, for coming with me" He answers, sincere. He holds my eye contact and I wonder what is going on inside that brain of his. If I didn't know Spencer any better I'd say he's treating this like a date. He's been flirting with me, and has taken every excuse to keep me close to him and he seems to never want to leave the point of contact with my skin. He's looking in my eyes all the time and, if I'm not mistaken, he even put on some cologne tonight.  All of these things separately might not mean anything... but together? They kind of sound like a date, to me. Of course it could very well be that I'm misreading all of this, but a girl can dream, right? 

"Now, what do you think happened with Penny and Derek? Should we look around for them?" I offer, before my thoughts make me do something I'll later regret. He nods, and we start to walk around the mansion to see if there are any other exits we didn’t know about. Apart from seeing a few actors smoking cigarettes at the back, we don't see any sign of Morgan or Garcia. While looking for them, I try not to focus on Spencer’s hand holding mine, or on how good it feels to have his fingers linked with mine. He looks like he doesn’t notice he’s still holding my hand, so I choose to not make a comment.Eventually our walk takes us back to the entrance and that’s where we finally see Derek and Garcia waiting by one of the stands, a couple of cups in their hands. I point toward them and pull Reid to walk faster toward them. 

"Finally! Where were you, lovebirds?" I scream at them.

"We should be asking you that! We’ve been out here for like 15 minutes! We came close to ditching you!" Garcia says, after taking a look at our hands. As they hand us each a cup, I use that to —begrudgingly— let go of Spencer’s hand and grab the cup instead.

For the next hour or so, we walk around the whole pumpkin patch. We go by the hotdog stand and grab dinner there, along with some corn dogs and more mulled wine, which sends Garcia into a fit of giggles for the rest of the evening, leaning into Derek more than normal. We then stop by the pumpkin pie stand, but Derek is the only one who buys anything because we all think pumpkin pie is gross except for him. I then drag everyone to grab some choc-chip ice-cream, and lastly we follow Spencer to get some hot chocolate with a ton of marshmallows. At some point we wander far from the crowds and find a quieter area of the patch, darker as well, and we all instinctively stop, sit down on the ground and look up at the starry sky.

"You don’t see stars like these in DC" Morgan sighs. We all nod and humm in agreement. Garcia is all over him and he has his arms wrapped around her. A cold breeze sends shivers down my spine and I wrap my arms around my middle to shield from it. Spencer turns his head at my movement, and takes off his scarf to wrap it around my neck. It doesn’t do much, really, but I snuggle into it anyway. I don't know what his cologne is, but I like it a lot. 

"Better?" He murmurs.

"Better, thank you" I whisper back. I’m still bracing myself because I still feel the cold on my back. This jumper is great and all, but it’s knitted, so the crisp air sneaks underneath. I look over at Reid, and his eyes seem lost into the darkness of the field ahead of us. He's sitting cross-legged, leaning on his hands behind him. I decide to take a risk and see how much I can push this closeness that he's been giving me tonight. I move so I’m kneeling in front of Spencer and try to get his attention.

"Hey, is this seat taken?" I ask, pointing towards his legs with my chin. He looks at me, then at his legs, then back at me, until he seems to get what I mean. He doesn't say anything, but opens his legs wide to let me in, and I take a sit between them, resting my back against his chest. He then folds his knees and rests his elbows on them, enveloping me completely with his limbs and his scent. Once we’re both comfortable, we go back to looking up at the sky, the back of my head resting on his shoulder.

"You make a good pillow" I whisper to his neck, and smile when I see I just gave him goosebumps. 

"My-my pleasure" I feel him, more than I hear him.

"Guys, I think this is the most relaxed I’ve been in like, forever" Garcia says, after a while. She’s slurring her words, so she’s either half asleep or completely drunk. Or both.

"With our jobs, it’s incredibly rare to enjoy moments where we are completely still and quiet" Spencer says, slowly.

"With our jobs and your brain, genius, always rambling about something" I say, teasing him. He chuckles, and I feel it reverberate again inside my chest.All of a sudden we hear a snore and we all whip our heads in Garcia’s direction.

"Okay, baby girl, time to call it a night" Morgan says, standing up to pull her with him. I get up and offer a hand to Spencer to help him up as well. Once he’s up, I start to pull away from his hand and, once again, he keeps a-hold of it. This time it really has no excuse for it, so I look at our joined hands and then at Spencer, a curious look in my face.

"Is that okay? I don't want you to wander off into the night" He asks, sheepishly. I just nod, and focus on moving my feet to follow Morgan and Garcia towards the car.

Our ride back is pretty quiet, except for Garcia snoring beside me in the backseat, of course.

"She’s so going to regret all that mulled wine tomorrow" I whisper to the boys at the front.

"Damn straight" Morgan agrees. "Okay, Stevens, that’s you" He adds, parking in front of my building.

"Thank you for driving me, D! See you on Monday guys" I say, jumping out of the car. When I’m almost at the gate, however, I hear footsteps behind me, and I turn around to see Spencer.

"I thought I’d walk you upstairs, if that's okay? Your building is very dark and I know the elevator creeps you out" He says, holding the door open for me.

"What a gentleman" I answer, pretending to grab the ends of a pompous dress and vow as I cross the doors inside the building. I hear him stifle a laugh from behind me.It’s true that going up the stairs in my building gives me the heebie-jeebies, but the elevator is worse, so I’m incredibly thankful that Spence remembers that and wants to walk me to my door. When we reach the landing on my floor, I can feel him hesitating, and walking slowly. _Now_ , if I were a profiler on duty, I’d guess he doesn’t want this to end, but I’m not a profiler on duty, so.

"Hey, thank you for pushing me to come tonight, I had a lot of fun" I admit, leaning on my door.

"I’m glad you came, it was great" he smiles. Just then I realise I’m still wearing his scarf.

"Oh, by the way, here you go, thanks for—" I start to take it off, but he puts his hands on top of mine to stop me.

"No, please, keep it. I like how it looks on you" He says, putting his hands in his pockets.

"O-okay, thanks. Also, I didn’t know you used cologne" I say, voice a bit choked, very self-conscious all of a sudden. He just gives me half-smile.

"You like it?" He asks, and I just manage to nod, before I make to open the door. Once again, Reid’s question stops me on my tracks.

"Are you sure you’ll be okay? Do you want me to stay…for the night? Make sure no monsters need slaying?" Spencer offers.

"I’ll be fine, Spencer. Honestly. It’s like you said: I’m a profiler, I catch serial killers for a living. Besides, I wouldn’t want to take advantage of you and have you falling in love with me" I tease, but it comes out a bit bitterly, despite my best efforts. He scrunches his face at my words and looks down.

"Hayley, come on, you know I didn’t mean that…" He pleads.

"That's what you said. But you had never lied to me before, Spencer. So how am I supposed to believe that that wasn't what you really meant? How am I supposed to believe that you weren't lying to when you said you didn't mean it?" 

I still have nightmares, some nights, about him shouting at me that I’m just a selfish lovesick puppy and how I just want his attention. Of course they are never those same exact words, but the feeling is the same. Just then, someone from a floor above us slams the door and the lights in my floor twinkle a bit, making me jump and gasp out of my train of thought. Spencer places his hands on either one of my arms, still looking at me with sad eyes.

"Hays, I know I can’t heal or make up for what I said to you with more words… which is why I’ve been trying to make up for it with actions. Contrary to popular belief, I can read some social cues." I can't help but smile a little at our inside joke. "I know I hurt you, and I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to convince you that I care about you. For tonight, you don’t have to fully trust me, but I know you’re afraid. And, frankly? The thought of you not sleeping because I dragged you to a scary haunted house will keep me up at night. So I will ask again: are you sure you still want me to go?» He says, determined. I hesitate and it my lip, pondering what to say.

"I really hate to ask, you probably need a good night sleep" I say, in the end.

"You’re not asking, I’m offering. Besides, your couch is very comfy. And... I promise not to fall in love with you unless I can’t help it, deal?" I squint my eyes at him and almost push him down the stairs, but then he adds "Too soon?" Pouting his lips at the end.

I nod, but I roll my eyes and open the door anyways to let him in. When he doesn't, I look back just as he says "You go get ready for bed, I’ll just tell Morgan that I’m staying and come right back up" He continues, and starts running down the stairs.


	6. (The) Growing Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, maybe inviting Spencer to stay for the night is not as straight-forward as it seemed a minute ago.

By the time Spencer knocks on my door, I’m already waiting for him in my pyjamas. I usually just sleep in a T-shirt and underwear, but I decide to throw on some leggings for good measure. I let him in, and he takes in my living room, with the couch prepared for someone to sleep in. My place is not really very big, but it's perfect for one person, two tops. My living room opens to the rest of the house, having the balcony at the end, the open kitchen to the left, and the corridor to the rooms and bathroom to the right. If I'm being honest, I essentially got the apartment because of the balcony. The view is not breathtaking (it's a second floor after all), you can just about see the tip of the White House, but it oversees a big park, and it's amazing to sit outside and read or have breakfast on the odd days off. 

"Sorry I can’t offer anything better than the couch, but I still haven’t bought a sofa-bed." I say, shuffling my feet.

"Don’t worry, I’ve slept in worse places" He says, plainly.

I watch him as he starts to take off his jacket, sweater vest and and converse and leaves them on the big puffy chair that I use to read. He’s got on a halloween-y pair of mismatched socks just for the occasion; one has pumpkins and the other has what looks like candy corn on them. I start to drag my gaze from his socks up his legs and when I reach his belt buckle I realise there is _no_ belt, because he’s already unzipping his jeans. I avert my eyes from it and, before I can kick myself, I turn around and look at the ceiling.

"Okay! So I see you’re getting… comfortable. If you n-need anything you know where I am. You know, down the-the hall to the left. You have a p-pillow and blanket. There's more blankets there. Goodnight!" I make a run for my room before I say something stupid and shut the door behind me. _Great, now Spencer probably thinks I’ve grown two heads._ I cover my face with both hands and shake my head. _Why am I like this?_ I decide to leave that question unanswered for the time being, and head to bed instead.

Although I fall asleep fairly quickly, a couple of hours later a nightmare jolts me awake. In it, someone is breaking into my house and comes to my room to strangle me. Before he kills me, I manage to wake up and I instinctively reach for the gun sitting on my bedside table. I wait, rubbing sleep away from my eyes, to see if I can hear any other noises that would indicate someone in the house. Nothing comes after a minute or so, not even Spencer’s breathing. It felt so real that my heart is still pounding on my chest. I try to lay back down and try to fall back asleep, but it just won’t happen. I can’t stop picturing dark figures walking around my apartment and can’t get the damn music from the haunted house out of my head. Without really meaning to, I reach for my phone and call Spencer. I hear it ring on my living room before I hear him pick up the phone.

"This is Dr. Reid" a croaky voice answers from the other end.

"Hi" I say in a small voice.

"Hays? Is everything okay? I’m literally one room over" He says, concern in his voice.

"I’m fine, kind of. I just got woken up by a nightmare. The music that was playing on the haunted house appeared in my dreams and it creeps me out. Now I can’t seem to go back to sleep" I whisper.

"Okay, want me to come and keep you company?" He says, calmly.

"Um, do you mind?" I mumble. All I hear is some rustling and the call disconnects. A few seconds later, Spencer appears at my door, his hair all over the place and wearing nothing but his boxers, his socks, and his undershirt.

"What monster needs slaying?" He croaks.

"I don’t think you’ll be doing any slaying in this outfit, Spencer." I tease. He glances down at his outfit, and places both hands at the front of his boxers. If the house weren’t so dark, I’m pretty sure I’d see his face red as a tomato.

"Nothing I haven’t seen before Spencer, relax" I insist, patting the spot next to me in bed. He slowly approaches my bed, and slides under the covers. We lay on our sides, looking at each other.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Spencer whispers. I shake my head.

"Can you just talk to me about anything but the dream? Your voice always calms me down" I mumble.

"Are you insinuating I’m boring?" He whispers, while raising an eyebrow at me.

" _Au contraire, mon cher._ You know I could listen to you talk clever to me all day" I correct him. He laughs quietly, and my bed shakes a little.

"What do you want me to talk about, then?" He demands.

"Well, my dear bookworm, do you know any good stories?" I ask, closing my eyes and snuggling into my pillow.

"Do I… Are you seriously asking the guy with an eidetic memory if he knows any stories?" He sputters.

"Okay, okay, Genius, don’t get riled up. I was just joking" I say, and without noticing, I find his wrist under the covers. When I try to retrieve it and give spencer some space, however, he keeps a hold of it but starts tracing his fingers up and down my arm. I clear my throat and that seems to get him out of his trance. His hand goes back next to his pillow, and so does mine.

"Are you ready?" He asks, unphased. I nod and close my eyes, ready as anything.

******\- Spencer -**

"Once upon a time, when the gods still lived on top of Mount Olympus, and humans could talk to them and ask for favours, there was a girl named Circe. She was the daughter of the first God of the Sun, Helios, and from a very young age she displayed astounding powers. Such prowess scared her father, so he decided to send her far away…"

Halfway through my story, sleep seems to be pulling from Hayley, and before I’m done with it, her breathing has evened out and I know for certain she's sound asleep. I try to get out of bed to go back to the couch, but she takes my hand to stop me.

"Stay?" She croaks

"Okay" I whisper, sliding back under the covers. She snuggles against me, fitting her head just under my chin and grabbing a fistful of my t-shirt. I bury my nose on her hair take in her fresh scent. She smells like sunshine. I wrap my free arm around her shoulders to bring her a bit closer to me. 

"Stay, but don’t play with my feelings?" She mumbles.

My heart breaks at her plea, because I hate that my words hurt her so much that she can’t see past them. She can’t see how, all of these months, I have rediscovered feelings that I thought I had buried a long time ago. Feelings that I thought I’d never be able to feel again, not after Meave, not after JJ. Hayley came and swept away my grief and planted the seeds of something way lighter, purer. At first it made me angry, because I felt like I was betraying Maeve’s memory. But now that I've realized that these feelings aren't going anywhere, I just feel like such an idiot for making her think that she has to protect her heart from me, when all I want to do is hand her my own.

"Please, don't play with mine" I murmur, before I close my eyes and let sleep wash over me.

——————

After not suffering any nightmares for the rest of the night, my eyes slowly flutter open to Spencer’s face looking at me all soft and mushy. He's lying on his side, giving me space, but he's stretched completely, so his arms and legs are longer than the bed, and the comforter. 

"If I didn’t know you any better, I’d think you’ve been watching me sleep all night like a creep." I whisper, voice steeped with sleepiness.

He chuckles, and gives me the softest smile I’ve ever seen on him. His face looks a bit puffy from sleep, his hair is all over the place and I can kind of see a sliver of collarbone from where his t-shirt is pulling at it. I have never seen him like this, sleepy and soft and _oh so cute._ I make a mental note to burn this into my memory and never forget it.

"What time is it?" I ask him.

"It’s still early, you can go back to sleep"

"But you’re awake" I whine a little as I stretch under the covers.

"Yeah, but you need sleep. Now that I know you slept well, I think I’ll go back home and let you rest."

"No, but you’re so soft!" I purr against the pillow. He laughs again and my heart can’t take all of this cuteness. Sleepy Spencer is my favourite Spencer. Period.

"Hays, I need a shower and a change of clothes, and you need more sleep."

"Fiiiiine. But I’ll see you Monday?" I’m propping myself up on my left elbow, looking over at Spencer.

"See you Monday" He states.

I reach down to kiss him on the cheek "Thanks for staying, Spence"

"Yeah, no-no problem" he sputters a little and just nods his head very fast. I watch him get out of bed, trying very hard to not look below his t-shirt through my half-lidded eyes. He exits the room and for a few minutes I concentrate on the small noises I can hear from my living room, and just imagine him getting dressed and packing his things. After he softly closes the door of my apartment, I fall asleep wondering if him staying the night was a dream after all.

————————

A buzzing on my face wakes me up, and that’s when I realise that at some point I fell asleep on top of my phone. I look to see who it is and see Spencer’s ID on the screen.

"Morning" I murmur, voice still raspy.

"Hey, sleepyhead, how was your sleep?" He wonders.

"You should know, you were there. Or did I dream that?"

"It, uh, it wasn’t a dream, no" he says between laughs.

"I’m glad it wasn’t. I had a great sleep, all thanks to you, of course" I admit, biting a smile.

"You’re welcome. My sleep was great as well. Uhm, did you just wake up?" He asks, his voice still soft.

"Mhm. Why?" I nod, even though he can't really see me.

"You slept well through breakfast."

"Well, it is a Sunday, the Day of Rest"

"True. I was wondering...Are you hungry? We could get some brunch if you want?" He asks, unsure. I squint at my watch as I acknowledge that it is indeed well past midday.

"Brunch? Spencer Reid doesn’t do brunch. Do you even know what that word means?" I ask, letting out a snort.

"Hey, untrue! I’ll have you know that, thanks to your girl-time with Prentiss and Garcia, I’m well-versed in all things brunch-related. And I may not do brunch as a norm, because I like my meals well spread throughout the day and with their given names —thank you very much— but you _do_ like brunch, so I thought I’d, uh, I’d take you out." He says all of this in one breath. I consider his words cautiously.

"Spencer Reid, are you asking me out on a date?" I say, half-joking, half-hoping it’s true.

"Is that what you want?" He whispers.

"Don’t answer a question with another question, Mister Profiler" I counter. I hear him take a deep breath through the phone and then exhale a long sigh before answering.

"I, I don't know, if I have to be honest. Can’t we just go for brunch and spend some time together, for now?" He urged. _What does that mean?!_

"Uhm, sure. I need to shower, though, so I’ll still be a while" I warn him. God knows on a normal day I can be showered and ready in 15 minutes, but I need to choose an outfit for this _maybe-date_ I’m going to with my best friend, and that’s a whole other challenge.

"Okay, I’ll get ready and head for your house, and I’ll text you when I’m downstairs. Take your time" he suggests.

"Alright, see you now then" I hang up.

_Now… what am I going to wear?!_

After tearing all my clothes out of my closet and trying every single piece I own, I make the executive decision to ask for help. If I don’t, I’ll combust trying to think of what to wear. I reach for my phone once more and send a quick text to Garcia:

📱 **Hey, Queen. I need your help.**

📲 _Shoot, baby. What’s up?_

📱 **What do you wear to a kind-of-date-but-we’re-not-sure-it’s-a-date brunch?**

📲 _ooooooooooooooooooh. So a certain Doctor has finally mustered the courage of asking you out?!!!!!! I need to tell Morgan about this, he owes me 50 bucks._

📱 **What makes you think it’s him?**

📲 _Oh, honey. There’s only one person who’d slash your girl-power-IQ of 200 down to 69. And that’s Spencer Reid. (See what I did there?_ 😏  _)_

📱 **Yes, and Imma choose to ingore it, for the sake of our friendship. What. Do. I. Wear. ?**

📲 _Ok, ok, straight to business, I see. Why don’t you wear the blue number you got when we went shopping last month?_

📱 **Hm, I think it’s screams "I want this to be a date and I want you in my bed". It’s only brunch, Pen.**

📲 _Well, you DO want it to be a date and you DO want him IN YOUR BED, miss._

📱 ***facepalm* BUT I DON’T WANT IT TO BE THAT OBVIOUS. DO YOU EVEN KNOW SPENCER? HE’LL HAVE A STROKE IF HE SEES ME IN THAT.**

📲 _Don’t shout, I’m still hangover. Besides, I’d bet that you won’t be leaving the HOUSE if he sees you in that._

📱  **…You are no help. I should’ve called Rossi.**

_*Phone rings*_

**"Hello?"**

_"I AM THE MASTER OF OUTFITS. HOW DARE YOU. Also, because I’m a Professional, I thought it’d be quicker if I called you. I’m guessing you don’t have all day?"_

**"You’re right, I don't. Listen, I just know I want to wear a purple scarf"**

_"HAYLEY, you minx! Only a scarf, to brunch?! Not in front of my pancakes!"_

**"HA, HA, you’re so funny. I mean, I need to build an outfit around the purple scarf, you dirty, dirty-minded woman"**

_"Hey, can you blame meeeee? Anyway, so you want it to be the star of the show. Hm, okay, then wear something black and white with it, so it’ll pop out."_

_"_ **Oh. What about a black denim pinafore dress, with a white turtleneck shirt underneath. Black tights and boots?"**

_"Sounds gooood. Try it on and lemme see"_

**"Okay, I’ll hang up and I’ll send you a photo now"**

📱 **[Photo attached] Wha’cha think?**

📲 _Oh, me likey. It’s something different and it looks like you’re making an effort, but it’s still casual. He’s going to ask you to marry him on the spot._

📱 **I think you’re overselling it, but maybe then he’ll have the _cojones_ to call this a real date. Thanks, Pen **❤️

📲 _Go get him, tiger._

📲 Hey, I’m downstairs, whenever you’re ready! 🙂

📱  **I’m surprised you know how to use emojis, Spence.**

📲Well, I am full of surprises.

📱 **That you are. I’ll be down in 5, I’m looking for my keys.** ****

_And my courage_. I’ve rearranged Reid’s scarf thirty times, and thought of leaving it home another thirty. _What if he thinks it’s too much? Or too eager?_ Just as I’m about to take it off for good, my phone pings with another message.

📲 Will you wear my scarf? I really like it on you.

_Well, I guess that’s that._


	7. The Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end has cometh! 
> 
> But fret not, my fine furry friends... I'm already working on a Christmassy fic... as a present from me to you <3  
> I hope you enjoyed the adventures of Hayley Stevens and, I love you very much! See you soon!

I take my time grabbing my coat and my purse and close the door behind me, and slowly go down the stairs. _Quit stalling_ , a little voice inside my head says. But, can you blame me? I mean, it’s just brunch with my friend, of course, but he’s a friend I have feelings for, who _knows_ I have feelings for him, and who I suspect might have some sort of feelings for me. _It is a tricky situation_ , so it’s normal that I’m stalling. _Right?_

It can only go for so long, however, since I only live in a second floor. I eventually make it to the hallway and I can perfectly see Spencer sitting on a bench right outside waiting for me. He’s wearing his usual shirt-vest-and-tie combo, with a darkish pink shirt that works really well for him. He’s also wearing jeans, which is unusual, but that doesn’t mean they look any less amazing on him. I can see how he's running his hands through his hair, trying to tame it. He’s not looking towards the door, but he turns his head to me when he hears me opening it.

"Good morning" I give him a wave and a smile.

"Don’t you think we should say _good afternoon_? It’s like two o’clock" he goes when I'm near enough. 

"Shhhh" I nudge him. "Shall we go to the diner around the corner?"

"Oh, you look way too pretty for that. I was thinking we could go Downtown instead?" he suggests.

He gently places his hand on my wrist to lead me toward his toaster-car. When we reach it, he opens the door for me to get in. I murmur a small thanks and watch him walk around to the driver’s seat, feeling my face all hot. It still surprises me to see Spencer behaving like that around me, so close and _touchy_. Since I’ve known him, I’ve gotten used to him just keeping his distance and only allowing physical contact when it’s absolutely necessary, usually with Morgan or JJ. It’s safe to say I’ve been in a constant state of awe for the past 48 hours.

"Where in Downtown are you taking me?" I inquire once he’s inside the car.

"You’ll see. I think you’ll like it" he says, turning the ignition. 

During the car ride, we’re both quiet. Spencer is obviously focused on the road, and I'm focused on not focusing on Spencer while my mind goes a thousand questions per minute. _Is this supposed to be a date or not? Why is Spencer hesitant about calling it a date? Does that mean he is confused about his feelings? Why doesn’t he talk about it? Do I still have feelings for him? Yeah, yes I do. That answer I know._

"Don’t do that, I hate it when you do that" Spencer says, interrupting my downward spiraling.

"Do what?" I asked, frowning at him. 

"Stop pulling dead skin from your lips, you’ll hurt yourself" he says, and then swats my hand away and holds it in his. He changes gears while still holding my hand, and starts tracing circles in the back of it with his thumb.

"You only do that when you’re nervous, and you don’t have to be nervous. I’m just taking you for brunch. Nothing more, nothing less." He says this like he’s trying to reassure himself.

"Nothing more, nothing less…" I mirror, and go back to looking out the window. 

After driving for a while, Spencer’s hand never leaving mine, he finally parks in front of what looks like the entrance to a greenhouse. 

"What is this?" I ask when Spencer opens the door for me and offers me a hand to get off the car. 

"This, is our brunch spot for today"

I let him place his hand on the small on my back to guide me to the entrance. The place looks like a giant greenhouse because the ceilings are all made of glass and covered by greenery, so although it's sunny outside, they provide a nice soft light without any lamps. The tables and chairs are all made of light wood, and it gives the place more of a cottage vibe. 

"Hi, uh, Spencer Reid, table for two" He says to the waiter, standing up straighter. The place is incredibly trendy, so I'm very surprised Spencer knows about it, nevermind having a table booked for a Sunday.

"You booked a table? You didn’t even know if I’d come, or if we would be called on a case" I ask, looking for his eyes.

"I took a calculated risk. Worse case scenario, I’d have cancelled." He shrugs. We’re led to our booked table by a different waiter, who takes our coats and hangs them nearby on what look like porcelain dog-hangers.

"Are we in the best case scenario?" I ask while he pulls the chair out of the way for me to sit.

"Remains to be seen" he whispers in my ear, pushing my chair closer to the table. 

_Smooth, Dr. Reid. Very smooth._   
  


While looking at the menus, I keep peeking at Spencer from the top of the leather-bound list, trying to read him instead. He seems to be a bit lost in all the options on the menu, and I can tell it’s the first time actually in a place like this, or at least one that serves only brunch items.

"Spence, need a hand? There are a lot of options in here" I ask him, with half a smile on my lips. He looks positively relieved to hear that.

"Could you? I’m well versed in what brunch entitles, but have no idea what to order." I smile brightly at him and we both chuckle. 

"Okay, well, my all-time favorite is—"

"Pancakes, right? Hold the blueberries. Just plain, with Maple syrup?" he finishes.

"… exactly. How did you know? I don’t remember ever telling you" I ask, incredulous.

"You didn’t, but you told Alex 3 weeks and 4 days ago while we were on the jet back home, and I overheard you" he said, sheepishly. 

"Handy thing, that memory of yours" I joke.

"It’s both a blessing and a curse" he says, gravely. The waiter comes to ask for our order, and I see Spencer’s face go white. 

"I’ll have the pancakes with a side of bacon, if that’s okay. And he’ll have the same, but without the Side of bacon. Also, we would like an extra serving of Maple syrup." I look over at Spencer. "You like your sugar with a bit of Coffee, right?" I continue, and watch as he smiles and nods. "Then you’ll like your pancakes with a ton of syrup." And then turn to the waiter "He will have a coffee, black. But I’ll have an orange juice. Thanks"

When the waiter brings our drinks and leaves, Spencer looks at me with his brows knitted. 

"I thought the point of brunch was the mimosas, how come you’re not having one?"

"Well, you’re not having alcohol, right? Then neither will I"

"Oh, well, that’s nice of you"

I just shrug it off. "It’s no big deal, really"

Eventually the pancakes come, and just like I expected, Spencer goes bonkers with the Maple syrup on his pancakes. 

"They’re so fluffy! My Mum would make me crêpes when I was a kid, not pancakes, since she was obsessed with everything French."

"Well, crêpes are great, but pancakes are just next-level amazing. I still can't believe you never had pancakes in your life, especially with bacon. You wanna try a piece of mine with your pancakes?"

Without waiting for an answer, I cut a chunk of my pancake and take a piece of bacon with it, then offer it to Spencer. He looks at it, unsure, but eventually reaches for my fork with his lips and takes the food I’m offering. I study him to see his reaction, but then just moans slightly and closes his eyes. 

"Delicious" he whispers, mouth still full.

"Worth the germs?" I ask, biting the inside of my cheek, trying not to laugh. 

"I think so. But if I get something because of you, I’ll hate you forever".

"You could never hate me." I say proudly, leaning back on my chair. 

"That’s probably true" he smiles and studies his plate, suddenly shy.

We spend the rest of the meal talking about this and that, mostly about work and making fun of each other at the haunted house. After a while, when our plates have already been cleared out, a question pops into my mind.

"So, random question"

"Yes?" he looks up at me.

"You are a well-known germaphobe, correct?"

"You can only be too cautious: the amount of germs shared in a single handshake is… staggering" he visibly shudders.

"Okay. In that case, tell me: why do you seem so attached to my hands lately?" I lean my elbows on the table and rest my chin on my hands.

"E-Excuse me?" he sputters.

"Well, since yesterday at the pumpkin patch you’ve taken every chance you got to hold my hand. I mean, not complaining, just curious" I say, raising both my hands in front of me.

He seems to consider it for a moment, scrunching his nose as if my question were a geographical profile he has to solve. 

"Well, I’ve been wondering lately what would it feel to have your hand in mine, and I got the courage to try it in the haunted mansion… and then I just couldn’t let go." He chuckles, and looks down at his own hands. "I love how your hands fit in mine… they’re so small" He finishes, and then reaches for my hand over the table, expecting my reply. 

"… Right" I murmur, carefully watching as he does it. 

"What was that?" He murmurs. 

"What was what?"

"You opened your mouth twice before saying _right._ It sounds like you meant to say something else. What was it?" I sigh. _I seriously despise profilers._

"I was going to ask you how you can say something like this to me, but not want to call this a date" I rest my chin on my free hand, waiting for his response. 

"… I see" he closes up and stops holding my hand.

"What was that?" I ask.

"What was what?"

"We keep doing that" I tilt my head.

"Doing what?"

"Using each other’s words against the other, you dork." He laughs at that, but instead of answering, he gets up from the table and goes to the waiter to pay for brunch. 

"Are you ready to go?" He says when he comes back. 

"You didn’t have to pay for the whole thing…!" He dismisses my attempt at paying anything back to him.

"Where are we going?" I look up at him as he picks up both of our coats and helps me into mine. 

"To the next part of this… date" He admits, and I smile brightly while I reach for his hand.

I’m glad I dressed up a bit for this, even if it’s just to hear him whisper "You look beautiful, by the way. I think I already said it but, you really do" I feel my cheeks heat up, so I start walking towards the door of the restaurant, Spencer at my heels. 

_____________________

We walk hand in hand, apparently aimlessly around the sleepy streets of DC. Everyone seems to have slowed down their pace, and you can tell it’s a Sunday. _No business on Sundays._

By the time I realize where we are, we’re already halfway up the stairs of the building. I pull from Spencer’s hand to stop him and make him look at me.

"Woah, woah, woah. Hold your horses, Sweet Cheeks" I start. "Why are we here?"

"Well, I know you hold a BA in Art History, and you’ve said multiple times how you haven’t been able to visit any art museum since you moved in here to work for the Unit, so I thought I’d take you here"

"To the US National Gallery?" I say, dumbfounded. 

"Yeah, to the National Gallery. You can teach me some things, for a change" he says, smug. 

"Oh, careful what you wish for, Reid. If you let me, my vast art knowledge will make your rambles look like tweets!" I challenge. 

"I can’t wait" he smiles at me and takes two tickets out of his pocket. 

"You had planned for this too?!" I exclaim, but he doesn’t answer, he just gives the tickets to the guard and pushes me through security like an impatient ten-year-old child at the circus.

"If you must know, I bought date-less tickets. I wanted to take you here for your birthday, but we were called on assignment, remember?"

"Yeah, in Bronson Springs, the time Capsule thingy"

"Well, I lost the tickets to that but instead of returning the money, they offered to give me date-less tickets, so yeah… I had it kind of planned"

"You really are a genius"

"I like how you still sound surprised" 

______________________

We spend the rest of the afternoon wandering around the museum, basically with me explaining every art piece I know to him and answering every question he has. He pays attention to everything I say, and at some point, an old couple and a group of kids started hanging out behind us, trying to eavesdrop on my explanations. They all get tired eventually and leave, but not Reid. He just listens, looking at me with giant, excited puppy eyes.

At some point, we are sitting down in front of _The Woman with an umbrella_ by Claude Monet, when Spencer clears his throat, asking for my attention. 

"Hey, so how come you never tried teaching? You’re clearly very good at it" He asks

"Well, I never wanted to pursue a PhD in Art History, and I can’t be a professor without one" I shrug. 

"But you’d be so good! I’d attend all of your classes just out of pure joy to see you explain all of this!" He excitedly whispers.

"Ah, but you see, doctor, I don’t have the patience for all the research" I chuckle. "However, if you want to hear me ramble about art, just take me to a museum, and I’ll talk artsy to you" I wink at him.

He’s still looking at me, but his gaze is currently bouncing from my eyes to my lips. It’s almost as if he doesn’t want to linger there, but can’t help himself. 

"That being said, I don’t think I could keep my focus for very long in that class. I think I’d get distracted very easily" He fidgets, without meeting my gaze..

"Doctor Reid, are you hitting on me?" Amused, I examine his face, trying to figure out if he’s joking or not. 

"Would it be okay if I were?" He utters, turning to look at me. I nod my head quickly, and a shiver runs through me with anticipation.

"Yes, more than okay" I manage to say.

I don’t know if this has ever happened to anyone, but as soon as I notice someone looking at my lips, I just can’t seem to avoid looking at theirs. So that’s exactly what I do: I let my eyes linger on his lips and then look at his beautiful golden eyes. I decide to test the waters and start inching closer to him, to see if he will do something about it. As it turns out, the water is perfect for swimming, because Spencer lowers his head towards mine and gently lays his lips on mine. They are so soft and cautious, which almost makes me want to break the kiss just to tell him everything’s okay. Instead, I push a bit, trying to deepen the kiss. I reach for his hair, and tangle my fingers into his curls. I feel his hand cup my cheek and-

"Excuse me, sir, ma’am, you can’t behave like this in here. This is the National Gallery, not a nightclub"

A security guard has approached us and is looking at us almost sorry to have to interrupt. To be fair, he’s only doing his job. Both Spencer and I look at him and mutter an apology, stand up and start to speed-walk towards the exit, laughing under our noses.

When we make it to the front steps of the museum, and we’re out of the line of sight of any other suspicious guards, I pull from Spencer’s hand and drag him towards me. I rest my back on the nearest wall, and pull him until his face is hovering over mine, him supporting himself on his left arm, and his lips only a breath away from mine.

"So where were we?" I say.

"I think I was holding your face just like so" He says as he places both hands on my cheeks, and leans in closer. I lick my bottom lip and stand on my tiptoes to reach for his lips. When we break apart, a seconds minutes later, he rests his forehead on mine, both of us coming out for air.

"I have to hand it to you, Spencer Reid. This is the best first date I’ve ever been in"


End file.
